


Becoming Inhuman

by Silly_Tilly



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Drink Spiking, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Intimidation, Lost and Found, My First AO3 Post, Not Canon Compliant, Not a fan of informed consent, Obsessed Hive, Past Memories, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Possessive Behavior, Season/Series 03, Self-Hatred, Transformation, Unrequited Love, Walk Of Shame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 00:40:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silly_Tilly/pseuds/Silly_Tilly
Summary: Jemma loved Will, Grant loved Jemma.  Now both Will and Grant are dead and Jemma is faced with a monster possessing the memories of both of them.





	1. It

“Jemma Simmons,” the tone of the voice was mocking.

The sound of that well-known drawl close behind her sent fear prickling right through her body, starting in her abdomen and shooting outwards until her fingers and toes tingled with it. She fought against the overwhelming instinct to run right out of the mansion and get away from the danger.  Running would mean leaving the rest of her team to fend for themselves and they would most likely die at the hand of this _monster_. She had to distract him until they could get away, she wouldn't sacrifice them to save herself.

“Ward,” she tried to keep her voice steady and bright as she turned to face him… _No_ , she corrected herself, _It._ Ward was dead, Coulson had seen to that. “How lovely to see you,” she lied.

“Ward?" The creature wearing his skin tried the name out, its lips forming around the word like it was new and unknown. Then, like a puzzle that it had suddenly discovered the answer to, “Grant Ward,” came the statement, “that is who I was once." It hesitated, thinking aloud.  “He’s still in me, I am still Ward, and the rest, I’m all of them.”  It looked amused by Jemma’s obvious discomfort and fear even.  “Ward isn't the only one in me that knows you,” it leered at her. It paused and seemed to make an effort to summon something from deep within itself.  An expression passed across its face. A look she knew intimately, that she had seen when she looked into the face of the man she had loved. _Will_.

Shock hit her as she looked at it in terror, “No, no".  She recoiled from it backing away. Her anger was welling up inside her. “Don't do that,” she almost screamed.  It was close to her now and it had backed her against the wall of the narrow corridor which lead to the lab. No escape. It reached out its hand and gently touched her cheek, running its finger across her jawline and making her blood run as cold as ice in her veins. When it withdrew its hand, she gasped.  

“Will loved you”, It considered.

Tears welled up in Jemma.  She couldn't prevent them from tumbling from her eyes and running down her cheek to pool on her jaw and then splash gently onto to her blouse. She felt as though she was losing Will again, the pain as raw as when she had first been told, It hurt like hell and only Its proximity prevented her from falling to her knees.

“I’ve loved you twice", It continued and looked her in the eyes inquisitively.  “What makes you so special that two extraordinary men risked their lives to save you?”.  Its eyes bored into her as it stared, waiting for her answer.

Despite her grief, Jemma opened her eyes wide in surprise. “No, Ward and I, we weren't… He didn't…  He tried to kill me, he tortured me for God’s sake.

“It tore him in two to hurt you, it almost destroyed him, but the situation was complicated. Ward’s loyalties were divided. You know that”.

It considered her intently and moved towards her pressing his body against her. “Will treated you like you were the most precious thing in the world to him.” It whispered in her ear, “Like you were fragile, like you were made of glass and might shatter in his hands” It paused, “Is that what love is?”

Tears ran down her face and she couldn't choke back the sob welling up in her.

“Ward didn't treat you that way. His memories, they are filled with his thoughts of you. He had many lovers, but it was you that he wanted. He loved you… but the feeling, the memories, they're so different to Will’s, violent, passionate. He thought you were strong and he loved you for it.”

“No” she stuttered, her sobs caught in her throat. She was acutely aware of the immediate danger she was in but she needed to understand what It was saying to her. She had once loved Ward too, in her own way, but that was before… “Ward loved me?”

“Why else would he risk his life to save you?”

“No, He never said anything, why wouldn't he tell me that?"

“Well,” It considered its answer. “Like Ward himself the answer to that is complicated.”

A cynical laugh escaped her. She heard herself, she sounded hysterical.

“The way he imagined being with you wasn't like the way Will was with you.   He wanted to possess you, to make you belong to him. He wanted you to beg him to take you. I can see it etched into his memories.  He always fantasized about claiming you as his own, and leaving his mark on you.”

A jolt like electricity shot through Jemma. How could she not have known that Ward thought those things about her. It made her feel ashamed that, in spite of herself her body responded to Its words. She felt herself blush deeply and It gave a dirty, knowing chuckle that was 100% Ward.

“You would have liked that Jemma, wouldn't you?” A disturbing smirk crossed Its face.

Her eyes nervously flicked to the clock.  Only five minutes had passed since It had found her.  No way that the rest of the team would have got the Intel they needed from the lab.  Without meaning to she'd managed to keep it distracted so far, maybe should could keep it distracted longer.

“I... I" she stuttered, but rising panic was making her tongue heavy in her mouth and she couldn't get her words out.

It looked at her and a melancholy expression replaced the smirk.  “I am everyone that I have consumed, I am Ward, everything he was, everything he knew, his desires, his memories. I experience them.”

Jemma watched in horrid fascination as the expression on Its face morphed to match Its well known features and ‘It’ became Ward.

“I know you wanted me as much as I wanted you.  I almost took you that night, after I jumped out of a plane after you and saved your life.  I stood outside your door"

She couldn't, wouldn't, believe what It was saying.  Ward was a traitor and a liar, so why would she believe him now?

“But I had a mission” he continued, “and I knew with certainty that once I had you I wouldn't be able to leave you and you would never turn to Hydra with me.  The mission had to come first.” He reached out and put his hand on her cheek again.  I'm so sorry Jemma.”

Physical contact with Ward had always had an effect on Jemma (No wonder he knew how she felt about him, her hands had always trembled a little when she had to examine him), and this time was no different.

“Let me make it up to you” he stared straight into her eyes and his fingers gently caressed her face.

The rational, scientist bit of her brain noted with clinical interest that it was possible to feel terrified for your life and aroused at the same time, and she might have commented on it, except she wasn't sure she could make any sounds any more.  Ward snaked his other hand to the back of her head and grabbed a handful of her hair. Roughly he pulled back her head and breathed on her neck.  She could feel the heat of him through her thin dress. ( _Interesting, he's warm,_  scientist Jemma thought, _wasn't he a dead thing? Shouldn't he be cold?_ ).

“I won't hurt you” Ward whispered in her ear, his voice was hoarse with emotion. “unless you want me too.”

 _Stop!_ she tried to scream, but her body had other ideas and the moan building inside her escaped from her lips.

Lips which It was currently watching intently.  “I'll take that as an encouragement,” It chuckled and moved its mouth over hers.

The kiss was firm and unrelenting, it felt as though there were years of pent up frustration behind it. There were, for both of them it seemed. Jemma moaned again and Ward shuddered against her and as he pulled away he bit her lip making her moans louder.

He gently moved his mouth to her ear and whispered.

“I know what your team are doing in my lab. They won't find what they're looking for"

He moved his hand from her face, down her neck, coming to rest on her breastbone, where he traced mocking circles with his fingers while she gasped, trying to catch her breath. He knew, he had known all along and he had been playing with her.

“You plan to destroy me?"

Of course they did, she did.  This monster had murdered Will.

“It would be so easy for _me_ to destroy _them.”_

Panic was overtaking her lust, She needed to warn the team, let them know It was coming for them, but It had her pinned to the wall and her hair was still in its hand.

It smirked at her. “I could be persuaded to ignore them." Its hand moved across her body and settled on her breast, gently caressing her nipple through the fabric of her dress.

Numbly, Jemma nodded her assent. 


	2. Afterglow

Afterwards it wasn't Ward _or_ Will that studied her closely. _It_ watched her as she slept on the bed and It pondered the contradictions of her. Asleep she looked vulnerable and small and It could understand how Will had felt tender and protective towards her. Awake she had been passionate and although she looked delicate it hadn’t held back, the part of it that was Ward had driven It to claim her and she had been unbroken by it. Ward was right, she had a strength in her that was surprising.

 It carefully examined the memories and feelings of the two men who had loved her, turning them over and dissecting them. One man watching with tenderness and the other with overwhelming unsated desire. Memories of tugging on her hair, pinching her and biting at her nipples, her neck and her body surfaced, old and new, real and imagined, and it smiled as it thought about how it had succeeded where the host body had failed. Ward should be thanking It.

 Something compelled It to trail a finger along her spine, from her neck to the small of her back and It felt an unexpected stab of something when she responded by stretching and moaning slightly. What was this new feeling she elicited in It? Almost a possessiveness, a need to protect this human who was so defenseless against It.  A human had never stirred these feelings in It before, nor anyone or anything for that matter. The only experience It had of any kind of intimacy came from the memories of his victims, and those it could only experience like the ghost of a tangible event.

 It had been curious, reliving the memories of his victims, almost, but not quite experiencing what they had. Jemma Simmons had shone brightly in the memory of his two most recent hosts and that had spurred him to seek her out and experience in the flesh the strange mix of lust, desire, tenderness, that she had elicited in those memories.  It hadn't expected that when it was over it would want her to stay. Really, It had expected a disposable experience, an information gathering exercise, maybe even another victim? Instead it had developed a fascination equaling that of its host.  More than that even, Ward had tried to harm her. It would never harm her it promised itself… maybe hurt her a bit… yes, but she had enjoyed that.

It looked at the marks it had made on her body and remembered how she had shuddered in pleasure at receiving each pinch, each bite, and finally at receiving It inside her, almost screaming “Grant, I need you, finish it, please". It smiled as it remembered how her orgasm had sent it over the edge too, spilling inside her, and how she had stared into its eyes and clutched at its hair. She was just as perfect as Ward's fantasies had imagined. This memory belonged to It, and It treasured it.

****

When Jemma woke she was alone. She wasn't in her own bed and a welcome, dull ache throbbed through her body.  The sheets that she lay on were cool and soothing against her skin. She curled into herself and sighed contentedly, half remembering what had caused the ache. “Mmm, Ward," she mumbled to herself sleepily.

No, that wasn't right.  Ward was a traitor, more than that Ward was dead. Suddenly awake, the shock hit her. What had she done? “Calm down Jemma" she told herself.  “You had to do it, you had to save the team," but even as she thought it, she knew that wasn't the whole truth.  The _whole_ truth was that she had wanted to experience what it would be like to have sex with Grant Ward, the man who had invaded her fantasies for so long, the man who had tried to kill her, who had tortured her. She was so fucked up.

A quiet click of a door closing behind her told her that It had entered the room and she turned to face It.

“You're awake"

“Ward" she said, there was an edge to her voice.

It shook its head at her. “It was fun being Ward for you, but now I don't want to be Ward anymore, I want to me, I want you to know how it feels to be mine.”

“You? You're Death? You're a monster,” Jemma spat.

“Am I? And what are you then?” She blushed and looked down, but she gave no answer to his question. “I can make you understand what I am” It taunted, “can _you_ make me understand what _you_ are?” What was she, Jemma wondered? Flesh, blood, a jumble of feelings and emotions? A traitor to her teammates, a betrayer of her dead lover?

Suddenly its tone softened and it smiled at her. “You don't need to be afraid of me”. It bent to touch her face but she flinched away. She was afraid, and very aware that she was naked and in its bed. She pulled the sheets closer around herself, as if to protect herself.  She was vulnerable.

“Where are my friends?” She managed.

“Oh, I have no idea”.  I had other things on my mind, I lost track of them.” It smirked, eying the new bruises that it had bestowed on her. “They're not here now” it added. “Do you think they’re wondering where you are?”

She was aware of its gaze on her and the effect that she was having on It, it made her uncomfortable and she shivered despite the warm room.   

It moved close to her and pulled her into a clumsy embrace. “You're cold”. It mistook her fear.  

Speechless she struggled free. “My clothes?” She was desperate to cover herself. It gestured to the floor where her dress and underwear lay. “I'll give you a few minutes to yourself” It sighed, “the shower is through there".

“You, shower?” She was surprised, the thought of it doing something so inane, human even, took her off guard.

“What did you expect?" It shrugged its shoulders and left her, closing the door behind it.


	3. Fallout

“Calm down Fitz" ordered Coulson. “Try and tell me what happened.” They were sat in Coulson’s office on the Bus.  The rest of the team looked at him, an array of worried expressions on their faces.

“That thing" Fitz spat “has Simmons." He was starting to have a panic attack, he could feel the waves of anxiety coming. The black edges were starting to creep in on his vision.

“Breathe Fitz," Daisy was rubbing his back, which under any other circumstances he would have taken a second to appreciate, but not right now, not when that monster had his best friend in all the world, under some sort of mind control.

He had watched as Jemma had taken Hive’s hand and willingly followed as it lead her away from him. She hadn't even noticed Fitz watching her, but it had.  Wearing Grant Ward's face, it had smiled at him and it had mouthed “I won".

Before he had turned on them, Fitz and Ward had been as close as brothers. Fitz had shared his feelings for Simmons with Ward one drunken night when they were both up late, the last two of the team left behind after an epic poker game. Not that Ward had ever given much away, he was fairly sure he had been the last to know about Ward’s ‘thing’ with May, but it had been a relief to tell someone, and he trusted Ward to keep the things Fitz told him to himself. Fitz had been in love with Jemma for so long, since the academy, where she had been his first friend. Ward had listened and had gently encouraged him to tell Jemma how he felt (that hadn’t exactly gone to plan).

It wasn’t until much, much later that he had realized that Ward was just distracting himself pretending he was in love with Skye, and heartlessly encouraging the crush that Simmons had developed on him (ever since he had saved her life, and it should have been Fitz that jumped after her, he had almost been ready.  Damn specialists with their testosterone, Jemma was worth a hundred times any of them). Poor Skye… Daisy now, he reminded himself. He suspected that she still didn't have a clue that her S.O. had played her.

The panic hit and he bent over doubled like he'd been punched in the stomach. _Urg, Simmons_ , he had to save her, he had to see her again and tell her again how he loved her, and beg her to love him back.

“Hive" he managed in gasps “We were in the main lab, looking for intel on Kree DNA, and it found her. It wasn’t supposed to be there.  Jemma was in the office looking through the files. Hive never got as far as us, it must have thought she was on her own" he told the lie because he couldn't understand what had happened then. How he had watched her taking its hand and following it away from him. The gloating, knowing look on its face. Hive had let them go and Fitz couldn’t understand why.

“We'll get her back” promised Daisy to Fitz. “What can it want with her?” She looked around the room, searching the concerned faces for an answer.

“I imagine Hive could use a biologist as brilliant as Simmons" Coulson interjected.  “If that's why its taken her, then we still have time, it won't hurt her while she's useful".

Fitz didn't think that's what Hive had had in mind at all. The thought of it pawing at Simmons brought on another wave of panic and he gasped.

“You need to calm down Fitz, you can't help her when you're in this state”.

Fitz looked at the director.  “It's got Simmons" he said pathetically. “And we don't have a plan".

“We will have” Coulson replied. “We all love her Fitz”.


	4. Falling Down

“Stay", It looked at her expectantly.

“I'm not a dog" she retorted. Jemma was angry, probably more with herself than anyone else, for allowing this to happen, for allowing herself to enjoy it.

“It's not an order. I'm asking. I want you to stay" It seemed to be genuine

“Why?”, Jemma was confused. “What do you want from me?”

“I just… like it, when you're here.” It stood looking at her nothing readable in its face.   

The shower hadn't gone a long way towards making her feel any cleaner, in fact she doubted she could ever wash _this_ dirt off her. Wearing yesterday's crumpled clothes wasn't helping matters much either. She eyed the door wondering if she was fast enough to get passed It.  Unlikely, but she had to try and escape, and find a way back to the team.  

It saw her looking. It raised its eyebrows at her. “I'm disappointed, Jemma, but not surprised. I won't stop you if that's what you want".

Jemma bent to slip her shoes on, maintaining eye contact.  She would have to walk passed it to get to the door.  Was it a trap?

“It's not a trap"

Well it would say that, wouldn't it?

“There are a million ways I could make you stay". She knew instinctively that this was true. “I wasn't actually planning on wanting you to stay.  I wasn’t necessarily even planning on you surviving the night”

Not good, she better take her chance while she still could.

“But I don't have you figured out yet” It moved towards her. “And I do like a challenge, there is something about you Jemma.  I don’t think I could hurt you.  They were right, you _are_ special, just a human, but there is fire in you." It took a step towards her, reaching for her.  

That's when she bolted for the door. She didn't make it. Ward's strong arms encircled her from behind and held her back as she yelped in frustration. It brushed Ward's lips across her hair, stopping to give her a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

“Goodbye then, Jemma" the arms released her and she stumbled towards the door.  “I’ll see you soon" It promised.

She fled from the mansion and into the morning.

****

The walk of shame.  People gave her sideways looks as she walked as dignified as she could under the circumstances, given the marks on her body and the short skirt she was wearing, which didn't go a long way towards covering them up.  It wasn't the first time she'd walked home in last night's clothes; the last time had been when she was still at the academy. She couldn't even remember the guy's name now. She could remember how she'd picked him up in a bar, the most aggressive looking guy there, and how she'd begged him to hurt her while he claimed her. Like most of her one night stands she had left in the morning unsatisfied and hating herself. He'd given her his number but she never called him, too ashamed of what she needed. 

Today was worse, about a thousand times worse. Whichever way you looked at it she'd begged the man who had tortured her, and tried to kill her and Fritz, to fuck her, to be rough with her. It didn't matter that It was only wearing Ward’s skin and playing out his fantasies.  That monster had murdered her lover.  Tender, gentle Will. She hadn't cared, she had just wanted it inside her, making her feel something again. Tears filled her eyes and fell down her face, blinding her. She kept walking, but she had no idea where she was heading.

“Whoa, you're okay now Simmons, I gotcha".  She had no idea how long she had been walking when she looked up and saw Director Coulson.  She stumbled, sobbing, towards him, and he caught her and lifted her up, cradling her in his arms.

“Let's get you back home” he said.

****

After Coulson had brought her back to the Bus, Jemma been made confortable in the lab isolation room. She completely understood that they had to be sure that whatever influence Hive had exerted over her was gone before they let her out. Everyone was convinced that she had been influenced somehow. It was like one of those fanfic stories she secretly loved reading on the internet when she had a spare moment, the ones where the completely incompatable but super-hot leading couple were infected with sex pollen or controlled by alien artefacts. She wished that she could blame some undue influence, that would be so much easier to understand than this.

The days in isolation weren't too bad. She kept herself busy looking through the information they had been able to gather from Hive’s lab, helpfully supplied by Daisy and Fitz. It hadn't been wrong about there being nothing there to help them destroy it, that wasn’t a big surprise, It would hardly let them get away with the secret to its Kryptonite. The more Jemma looked into the data though, the more interested she became. There was some _very_ enlightening information on Its origin, and its link to the Kree. Oh!… there might be something useful here after all.

The others came to keep her company when they could. Sitting in the lab on the other side of the glass. Fitz was there most of the time, working or helping her go through the data. Sometimes she gave him helpful suggestions for his newest inventions  He kept giving her worried glances though, when he thought she wasn't looking.  That was so like Fitz to be worrying about her. The familiarity of it hurt her. She didn’t deserve it.

No one asked her what had happened to her and everyone was super careful to avoid the subject. Jemma was 99% sure that they were talking about it behind her back though.  Hell, they had probably all decided she wasn’t strong enough to discuss it yet, especially considering the state she was found in.  They were being careful with her. It was getting on her nerves. Only Coulson had many any reference to why she was isolated and promised her they would talk about it when she was up to it. That was not a conversation she was looking forwards to.

The nights were dreadful.  She would dream, sometimes in the dreams she was with Will again, but Will spoke with Ward's voice. Sometimes he would escape with her through the portal, sometimes the portal opened over a bottomless pit and she would feel herself falling endlessly, clinging on to him, until he slipped from her fingers.  After those dreams she woukd wake with a start, sometimes sobbing and that one time she woke screaming, and May had come running in to check on her, not leaving until she had promised her that Hive would never hurt her again.  

Often though, and to her shame, she dreamed that she was with It. She would wake content in the memory of how It felt, how Its fingers had traced their way down her spine. How It had put Its hands around her neck. How It had made her feel when it slapped its rough hands across her breasts and buttocks, while she had begged, leaving her body marked, while she screamed out in pain and pleasure.  Then she would feel such a sense of loss and grief, before she remembered in horror exactly what it was that she was missing, and the shame would almost kill her. She hated herself.


	5. Falling Deeper

It sat back against the sofa.  The screens on the walls around it flickered with images. News channels, films, reality TV, cartoons.  It closed it's eyes in disgust. Nothing changes, humans were still trying to kill each other, they were hungry for power,  money, adoration. It would be a pleasure to destroy them all.

Something inside it twisted.  Not all of them, it corrected itself. 

Eyes closed it relived that night with her. One night, that was all it had needed for the obsession to take hold.  In the weeks since he had tried to recapture the experience, sometimes with inhumans in it's thrall, sometimes with a human it had managed to charm with Grant Ward's beautiful face.  It hadn't found satisfaction with any of them, the women or the men. Sometimes It let them go, disappointed with itself. More often it consumed them, picking over their memories, trying to understand what had driven them into its bed. 

It had been sure that she would have returned to him by now.  They had a connection. It had been patient so far, but by nature it wasn't a patient thing.  It knew nothing of her whereabouts since it had watched Coulson pluck her from the street. 

Radcliff had his orders, he was busy worrying day and night. It had provided him with a sample of her DNA, taken while she slept. Radcliff would find a way to fix her so she would be saved from the coming apocalypse. And when she was fixed it could make her worship it.

An uncomfortable feeling pricked at it. It didn't want Jemma that way.  She needed to choose to be with It. She would when she was fixed.

It needed something to keep itself busy with so it stalked down to the lab to see how Radcliff was getting on with the test subjects.

 

****

 

“It's not bloody helpful that you let them get away with my research data" Radcliff mumbled darkly.  It looked at him, “Um but thankfully you still have me so no harm done eh". He gave a nervous chuckle and shifted his weight. 

“How long” It demanded. 

“Soon, soon" Radcliff hurried “There are just a few, um, hitches that I need to sort out" He eyed the twisted mess strapped to the table in the corner of the lab.

“I'm losing patience" It threatened,  an empty threat since it needed Radcliff to fix Jemma, but he didn't need to know that.

“Of course,  of course, I'm on the brink of a breakthrough any day now"

It turned and left the lab.  Radcliff sighed, realising how tense he had been with Hive in his space.   Bloody idiot, losing its mind over the scientist girl. She was very intelligent, no doubt about that. He could have done with her help on this  _ ‘ _ project’ if he was totally honest with himself. Not his type though. His mind slid to the older agent,  all black leather catsuits and fire in her eyes. She could show him few things. “Ahem, back to work then" he said to no-one in particular. 

 

****

 

Back in her own bed at last. Jemma looked over the familiar grey walls.  Everything was just as she'd left it. The familiarity was comforting. The team had thrown her a party to celebrate getting out of isolation.   Nothing too fancy, but it was heartfelt. They'd missed her. 

Tomorrow she would have to face Coulson and she hadn't decided what she was going to tell him.

There was a knock at her door and she heard Fitz shout.  “Hi, can I come in?”

“It's not locked" she shouted back. 

Fitz let himself in and plonked himself down next to her on her bunk.   His hands twisted together in his lap as her stared at them. “Are you okay?” his concern for her was genuine, but he didn't look at her. 

“I'm fine” she nodded “really,  you don't have to worry about me, well rested.  That's what three weeks in isolation will do”. She smiled at him as reassuringly as she could muster, hoping her smile resembled something close to normal. 

“Fitz took her wrist and looked at her arm.  No trace now of the bruises where It had pinned her down. Stupidly she missed them. He let go, and her arm fell to her side. 

“We've been through worse Fitz” her voice was cheery. Fitz looked at her,  she couldn't read his face. He didn't smile. “Fitz?”

“Did he hurt you Jem?” he moved hand on top of hers and she flinched but didn't move it away. 

“No... yes", she hesitated “It's complicated”. She didn't want to lie to her best friend. 

Fitz laughed cynically in a horrible pastiche of that night, and she felt as if everything was falling away from her. 

“Look, you can tell me anything” he said earnestly.  “I won't judge you". Jemma doubted that.

“What did he do to you?”

“Nothing I didn't want him, It, to do”

“But, the bruises Jem?” She pulled her hand from under his and took her turn to stare at her hands twisting in her lap. 

“Nothing I didn't want it to” she repeated quietly. 

They sat in silence, neither one knowing what to say.

It was Fitz that broke the impasse. “It's okay" 

“It's so very far from okay” she sighed. 

Fitz put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. “Thanks” she whispers. 

“I love you, Jem" he said, by way of explanation. “I'm in love with you” he thought to himself. 


	6. Staying up

“Let me get this straight”. Coulson was sitting across the desk from her.  “Hive knew we were there?” She nodded. “How the hell did it find out" he wondered, “that Intel came from one of our best sources.”  Coulson looked her in the eyes.  “And it let the team go in exchange for you? 

 

“yes" 

 

“What did it want from you, did it want you to work with Radcliff?”.  She shook her head unsure how to explain. 

 

“It used Will” she started.  “It has the memories of all its previous hosts. It reminded me how we felt about each other.  Coulson was watching her carefully. 

 

“What else Jemma?” he was treating her gently.

 

 “Ward"

 

“Ward?” 

 

“It knew how I felt about him"

 

“Everyone knew how you felt about him, he hurt Fitz, you wanted to kill him" 

 

“Before that.  I had a, um, a bit of an, um thing," She blushed deeply.  This was as bad as the time her Dad had tried to give her the sex talk.  

  

“I see” he cut her off and looked as if he was finding this as uncomfortable as she was. 

 

“And what did it want with you then?” 

 

“It wanted to, um, relive its memories of me" she tried. 

 

Coulson looked blankly at her before pulling himself together. “You were a mess when I found you, I'm not going to ask you to relive what it did to you, but is there anything you can tell us that might help?” 

 

“I would have told you already if there were" she promised him.  “I'm still working through the data from the lab, but I doubt it will be of much use since Hive was okay with letting get into S.H.E.L.D hands.”

 

“Well do what you can, and inform me immediately if you have any after effects" 

 

“Of course Director “.

 

****

 

It was the middle of the night when her phone rang.  It roused her from a vivid dream.  She was happy in the dream, Will was holding her close and she felt safe and calm".

 

“Simmons” she snapped into the phone, she was grumpy from being disturbed.

 

“Jemma?”

 

The sound of Its voice felt like someone had poured icy water all over her.

 

“What do you want?” She tried to sound angry, not very successfully. Mostly she just sounded tired.  

 

“To see you".  It waited for her answer, and when it didn't come It spoke. “Jemma?, you know what I want"

 

She took a deep breath and paused before answering.  “I suggest you take your sexual frustration out on someone else" she snapped.

 

“Someone else doesn't have the same effect" it answered

 

“Been busy then?" Jealousy unreasonably stabbed at her.

 

“Well you left me" came the accusation.

 

“You're an abomination wearing the skin of a murderer, of course I left, you’re a manipulative shit".

 

“But you can call me Alveus". It was amused, teasing her. “I've waited through lifetimes for you to be mine".

 

“Cut the prima donna act” she hissed “Okay, I'll admit the sex was good, but that doesn't mean we're soulmates, I don’t believe in destiny or fate"

 

“How about you give me another chance to persuade you? Can you get away for a few hours?”

 

“No, It's the middle of the night. I was in bed, asleep"

 

“Yeah? So what are you wearing?”

 

Jemma sighed audibly, “Oh my god.  Men, you're all the same!” she couldn't help but laugh at the image of some ancient inhuman God fantasizing about her flannel pajamas.

 

“Oh, the ice queen thaws", should could almost feel it smiling. “I'll send you some coordinates.  Be there in an hour".

 

The phone went dead.

 

****

 

The coordinates had sent her to a motel stop in the middle of nowhere.  The booths in the cafe were mostly empty. There was the odd insomniac nursing a cheap mug of coffee and a young couple who only had eyes for each other. She had carefully chosen a seat at the back, as far away from what little hustle and bustle there was. What the hell was she doing here she asked herself for the hundredth time.

 

It was just after three when Alveus slipped into the booth next to her and pushed a hot cup of tea towards her.  “Drink it" he said “You look cold".

 

Gratefully she sipped at the tea. Nowhere near the best tea she'd ever had, but it would do.

 

“Why am I here?" she asked.

 

“I've found a way to fix you"

 

“Fix me? I'm not broken"

 

 “You deserve the world Jemma, but I can't share it with a human and after all, you are just a human. I can fix you and then I can give you the world”

 

Jemma shook her head, she was struggling to put her thoughts in order. “You're talking about making me into an inhuman?.  It's not possible even if I agreed. We don't have the technology to make the changes to the DNA needed and anyway I don't want to be inhuman” she finished groggily.

 

“You don't have a choice” he said and kissed her. Her head span, an effect of the kiss as much as the sedative in her drink, and everything went dark.


	7. Coming round

“Shh, don't fight it" Alveus held her tightly against him and rocked her, she could feel his worry radiating from him in waves until it rang and rang through her head.  It was the strongest emotion she had ever experience and it floored her. She gave in to the dark when it came, just to escape from it.

 

When she surfaced again she was in his lab. The smell of chemicals and disinfectant was comfortingly familiar to her. The air was thick with anger and fear. She could hear Radcliff pleading with Alveus. Radcliff’s fear and Alveus’ anger pulsed from them in waves, they both consumed her and she felt suffocated with it.

 

“It worked” she heard Radcliff say through the fog of emotions.  “I don't have any control over what's happened to her after that" 

 

“Your future health depends on her getting through this” Alveus said icily. 

 

“Yes, she'll be fine, fine" Radcliff stuttered.

 

She didn't feel fine, she felt as though she was dying. Someone screamed, the sound shattering the thick air and making them all jump. Three hearts beating against three ribcages.  She recognised the scream of course, It was hers. Radcliff stuck a needle in her arm and she welcomed the oblivion it brought.

 

The next time she woke she was laying in a cool white room, her head hurt, but she was mercifully devoid of emotion.   Radcliff was sat watching her, uncomfortable in the chair next to her bed. A drip was attached to her arm . “It's rather a clever mix of pharmaceuticals. I think you'll find the formula very interesting. It's keeping a lid on your abilities for now”

 

“Why?" she managed. 

 

“The results of the transformation are unpredictable. It's that way for everyone”

 

“Transformation? I'm Inhuman?”

 

“Correct Dr Simmons”

 

“Not a big fan of informed consent Dr Radcliff?”

 

“Not a big fan of making your boyfriend angry. Was it wise, Dr Simmons, to court the attention of a such a dangerous individual”

 

“No" she said “It wasn't wise".

 

“You need to rest" Radcliff moved to the door. “I'll check on you in a couple of hours".

 

“She's okay" she heard him say to someone outside her room. “Let her be, she needs time,  Doctor's orders".

 

****

 

“You have to face it Fitz, there is no point in refusing to believe the evidence in front of you”

 

“Your just going to give up on her?”

 

“Listen to me" Coulson looked sadly at the young man in front of him. “Simmons left by her own choice. This isn't a prison, she's free to leave as she likes".

 

“I'm going after her" Fitz said stubbornly.

 

“Well, I can't stop you, but you might not like what you find"

 

“Nothing is worse than not knowing if she's dead or alive" 

 

“Some things are worse Fitz, remember Ward?”

 

“Ward wasn't my best friend”

 

Coulson sighed. He though Simmons was more than just Fitz’s best friend,  but he suspected that was only on Fitz’s part. “You can take what equipment you need, but you will not disturb any of my agents, understood?”

 

“Thank you, Director Coulson"

 

“Just find her Fitz"

 

****

 

He was sat beside her bed. “Alveus" she reached for his hand.  She was humanizing him she realised. She had gone from thinking of him as a thing to a man.  

 

“What am I?” She asked him. 

 

“Special", he looked at her and smiled.  

 

She sensed the urge to protect her and as he took his hand waves of tenderness flowed through her. 

 

“I can sense emotions" she told him. He nodded.

 

“You're very sensitive to it, Dr Radcliff had to keep you sedated until he could figure out how to dull it, whenever you came round you freaked out”. He grimaced.  Jemma could feel traces of how worried he had been.

 

“Just a case of the right amount of sedative, anti-anxiety meds and beta blockers I should imagine, the hard bit would be titrating each component correctly". Her brain was pondering the puzzle.

 

“Radcliff thinks he can wean you off gradually while you learn to control your gift,  we don't know what you're capable of yet but Radcliff suspects it might not be just a one way ability".

 

“Meaning I can project my emotions and allow other people to feel them?”

 

Alveus nodded “Maybe even manipulate them”. A perfect gift for the one destined to take the world with me.

 

Jemma pulled her hand away.   “No" she shook her head. I didn't ask for this, you forced it on me. I won't help you hurt people”

 

“You're one of us now” help us take what should be ours.  She shuddered in repulsion, he breathed in sharply and withdrew his hand.  “I see, You need more time” 

 

“Time isn't going to make any difference. I want to leave now, please"

 

“You're free to go, but ask yourself where are you going to run to? You came to me willingly so its unlikely your friends will trust you now. Stay with me and I can help you learn how to control your gift. Out on your own with no access to a lab you're going to fall to pieces. Let me help you.” He was confident,  gloating even. 

 

Then he bent over her and roughly kissed her, waves of lust drowned everything else out, his and hers mixing together in her body.  She reached for his head and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him against her. 

 

He drew away from her and laughed. “This is going to be interesting” 

 

“No”, she sobbed, her fingers clutching for him,  the loss of him making her feel desperate and reminding her of the dreams that had been haunting her since they were together. 

 

“You need time" he repeated, but he couldn't resist running a finger slowly down her neck and watching her shudder with desire. He hadn't been wrong that only she could give him want he needed. 

  
  



	8. Finding out

Fitz had tracked her to the Mansion.  For days he had kept watch from his car, making notes of the comings and goings.  There was no sign of Simmons, but once or twice he had caught site of Hive, going about it's business. (What was it's business? He wondered).

 

During the day time he didn't recognise the people entering or leaving the house.   Sometimes people went in and didn't reappear and he hopes beyond hope that Simmons didn't count among them.

 

After dark Radcliff was in the habit of sneaking out of the house.   Fitz knew Radcliff by reputation of course,  he had made some brilliant advances in bioengineering. Though not  a particularly scrupulous man,  by all accounts.   The doctor's notes were brilliant.  Only Simmons had really understood the data they had taken from Hive’s lab. Radcliff had been working to recreate the experiment that had created Hive.  Give humans the abilities of inhumans by fusing their DNA with Kree DNA. He had hit a roadblock though.  No access to the DNA samples he needed.  He could tell from Simmons excited ramblings that she thought she could see the answer.

 

Then they had lost her.  Disappeared into the night.  Fitz had been certain the Hive had taken her by force, got into the base somehow.  It wasn't until Coulson had shown he the door logs and the security footage of her creeping out that he had accepted the truth of the situation. Simmons had fled to Hive.

 

He watched as Radcliff silently let himself put of the Mansion and walked to his car.  When Radcliff pulled out onto the road, Fitz slipped out behind him. Maybe if he could get Radcliff alone he could find out what the man knew.

 

****

 

Jemma has decided to go take a look at the labs.  It was late and she couldn't sleep.  everything was quiet in the mansion and she wondered what Alveus was doing.  Did he sleep?  Being in a lab had always brought her a sense of calm and centeredness.  Radcliff’s notes on her were detailed,  and extensive and she lost herself in scientific puzzles.

 

She sensed, rather than heard him behind her.  Desire radiating from him and rising in her to match.  Then she felt him pressed against her back, his lips next to her ear.  “Trouble sleeping?” he whispered. His voice was hoarse with lust.  She nodded. “Come with me" he commanded.

 

Wordlessly she turned to face him and he took her hand. For the second time she followed him without complaint.

 

*****

 

Radcliff pulled into the car park of a seedy looking bar. Moments later Fitz pulled in behind him and watched the older man enter. Ten minutes later he followed.

 

The bar was noisy and it smelt of sweat and cheap beer.  Radcliff was sat at a table in the corner nursing a glass of something that was probably whisky.   A woman wearing cut off denim shorts and a bikini top more suited to someone twenty years younger stopped at the table and murmured something to him.  Radcliff shook his head and the woman moved on to try her luck elsewhere.   Fitz found a table where he could watch Radcliff without being in his eyeline. He summoned the waitress and ordered a beer.  He hated American beer,  but he had to order something. When she brought it over he mumbled his thanks and gave her a generous tip.

 

The beer lasted him an hour.  In the same time Radcliff had managed at least six drinks and when he got up to use the gents he looked decidedly unsteady.

 

When he returned to his table he found it already  occupied,  but happily the young man sat there seemed eager enough for Radcliff to join him.  A sweet face but not really his type, his mind wandered to the lovely S.H.E.I.L D agent and her tight black catsuit. The kid pushed a whisky towards him.

“Dr Radcliff", It was a statement not a question.  “Leo Fitz".

 

“Ffitzz” Dr Radcliff peered at him. “Ah, I should have recognised you of course" He stopped and thought for a while.  “Hey,  do you know the Hot scary agent, can you put a word in for me?”

 

Fitz knew a few agents that matched the description.  “Sure” he said.  I'll give her your number” Radcliff looked up hopefully.  “If you help me out".

 

“What can I do you for?” Radcliff slurred.

 

“I'm looking for someone"

 

“Right, the girlfriend"

 

“No, just a friend"

 

“Not your girlfriend silly,  The terrifying bloke’s Best not to mess with him.

 

“Is she okay?” Fitz asked

 

“Well, she got through the transformation okay” Radcliff downed the whisky “which was a surprise really" he put his hand up to indicate he wanted another.  “but she's had a few problems adjusting"

 

“Transformation?” Fitz was worried

 

“Oops, I've said too much,  I'm not saying another word" Radcliff made a zipper motion across his mouth and slumped back in his chair out out of it.

 

“Don't worry he always gets liked this” The waitress crossed over to them and collected up the glasses.  “Let him sleep it off for a bit, he'll be fine"

 

“Do I owe you anything"

 

“No honey,  he'll settle his tab at the end of the month, always does".

 

Nodding Fitz got up and headed out of the bar.

 

At the door Denim shorts and bikini stopped him and tried her luck.  “Looking for a friend love?” He shook his head and left.

 

A friend was exactly what he was looking for. 


End file.
